When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Randomize
