She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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