i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
it's great music for shaving your balls
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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