Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
