me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
