I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
