Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
