someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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