all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
