it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
nutella sex= disaster
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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