I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
It's never too late to be topless.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
