Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
