He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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