coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize