You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
