Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
