are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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