Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
