just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
