those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
