I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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