I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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