Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
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you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
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btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
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