Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
