There r osticjed everywhere
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
