I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I wanna passion pit in your ass
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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