I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
