accomplished twins. life is a go
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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