We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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