She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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