sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
How naked do you want me to be?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
