I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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