I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Randomize
