Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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