She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
