who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
