he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
