fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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