I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
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I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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