My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
