We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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