Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
