I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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