Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize