I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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