ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
