I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
