escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.