I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
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she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
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Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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