I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
and you said cock pushups were impossible
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
