my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
