I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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