Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Send help, water and tortillas.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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